| Making the
Ultimate Commitment - How to Stay Together Forever There is a common misconception that gay males are promiscuous by nature. That isn't true. In fact, statistics show that the number of single males and females - whether they are gay or straight - are equally promiscuous until they are ready to settle down. However, the reason this misconception exists is because in many cases a gay male will take longer to reach the point where he is ready to settle down, and - just like straight individuals - some gay males do not wish to ever settle down. 'Settling down' is a lifestyle choice that must be chosen by the individual. If you wish to settle down, when and with who is for you to decide. Chances are, that you may even want to have your own family some day. But, not everybody is going to want to settle down, raise a family, and give up their freedom to be able to come and go as they please. One thing to keep in mind is that no relationship, gay or straight, is perfect. Every relationship has its flaws. The key is to find a way to emphasize the good times and endearing moments and focus less on the trying times. If you can do this you are well on your way to a successful, happy, healthy, long lasting relationship that leaves both of you satisfied. Communication is the Key When it comes to communicating, it shouldn't matter who you are, what your sexual orientation is, or what kind of relationship you are in. Communication is the most important part of your relationship. Without communication your relationship is worthless and unfulfilling. There can be no trust; respect; understanding; sharing; giving; or even heartfelt emotion if there is no communication. You not only need to be a good communicator, you also need to be a good listener. Your needs are important and so are his. You may not have a perfect 50/50 relationship. Nothing ever is. However, the giving and taking should balance out. Do not think you can always take without giving in terms of communication, openness, and honesty, and still have a healthy relationship? Heck, no! You must share and let him share as well. When he shares with you it is really important to try to understand what he is saying and where he is coming from so that you can understand his own personal needs, wants, and desires better. The key is to always listen without being defensive, and to speak without being offensive. So simple, yet so successful. Acceptance No relationship can survive without each partner having 100% acceptance of the other partner. This means both his good behavior and those annoying little quarks of his. If you cannot accept your partner, his characteristic imbalances and mannerisms, and his issues 100% of the way, the relationship is on a course of destruction, as tolerance eventually wears thin, and changing your partner is usually done on a beaten path that dead-ends. Keep it Fresh One of the biggest complaints I hear from gay men that have been in a relationship for some time is that there is nothing to look forward to. They love their partner - but their life and sex, especially, has become predictable. Whether you've been together 2 months or 20 years you need to surprise your partner from time to time. Don't let the same old humdrum that is life occur in and out of the bedroom. You can add excitement and flavor to spice up the romance in a whole new way. This doesn't mean changing positions from night to night. You can get creative depending on your surroundings and what is available at your disposal. You may want to add sex toys, sexual furniture, or even food into the fray from time to time. Perhaps some role-playing will turn your lover on. Regardless, you need to see to his needs and that may mean changing your style from time to time, especially when he least expects you to. Make a Commitment and Stick to It You need to truly make an effort. This is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. If you plan to make a commitment it is in your best interest to stick to it. It is not fair to him, or to yourself, to say you are making a commitment and then lie and cheat behind each other's backs. If you cannot be faithful, or remain committed in a way that was agreed upon initially, be honest and let them know. Not every relationship is going to last forever. However, with honesty you have a much better chance of keeping a friend if you cannot keep a relationship. In the end, your happiness - and the happiness of your partner - should keep you on the right track toward a long lasting, fulfilling relationship. |
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