| He'll Never
Be the Man You Need - Avoiding the Straight Boy Craze It has happened a million times. You see him across the room. He's perfect. He's an Adonis and you just have to have a taste of his pleasure. However, once you get to know him the truth is revealed… he's straight :(. Thus begins the process of conversion - his conversion. For whatever reason, and try as we might, we often fail in our attempt to convert straight men. However, even if we do succeed victory is not very satisfying, or long lasting, as often their interest is only mild curiosity, and in the end they almost always go back to their girlfriends. Why do we keep putting ourselves in these situations? We know these boys do not really want us. We know in the end they will be straight because they are straight - yet we try and convert them anyway, even if it means losing their friendship in the end. Our hearts are broken and we have no one to blame but ourselves. But, still the enticing excitement, and the challenge of the straight man, is just too much a thrill for us to turn down. Every gay male I know (that is not in a committed relationship) either has a straight guy he sees from time to time or one that he's pining after, or who has been a past lover - but who basically wants nothing to do with the gay male in the long run. If the relationship isn't going to last then this implies the sex was worth the heartbreak, but that's not the case at all! The straight boy craze is not a new concept. It's been happening since the inception of homosexuality. Of course, back in the days of the Ancient civilizations it was more widely accepted for gay males to have male lovers on the side, yet they were still considered, by today's standards, to be straight. So, is our fascination of taking on straight male lovers a reflection of the past or is our own selfish way of informing the world that we will have whom we want and do what we want without a thought towards our family, friends, and anyone that the straight male may be involved with? Or is it just the challenge, as in the 'playing hard to get' game? Unfortunately, as a gay male we are the underdogs - and if our past indiscretions do come to light it is not the straight males who are blamed it is the gay males who must suffer. We must deal with the consequences and are blamed for the actions of both the straight male and ourselves. The blame should not be placed in one area. He was just as guilty of going through with it as you were, and that should not be forgotten. So, again why do we do this? Why do we look for straight guys in particular? Why do we find a challenge in what we call "converting" them? Is it to flatter our own ego? We are just sooo incredibly hot that we converted Mr. Straight! No matter what the reason, it isn't productive for either of us, nor is it truly acceptable. In fact, many look down upon such conversions. The entire gay male population is the one that is blamed, rather than leaving individual blame. Instead, the gay male initiated therefore he must be the one to blame. However, society so quickly forgets that it takes two. The best advice for any and every gay male - whether they want to hear it, or not - is simple logic. Leave the straight boys alone. Focus on finding a meaningful relationship, as opposed to one that is built - not only on lack of trust - but on lack of commitment, too. In the end the straight boys are only going to use you for what you can offer them. Once they have taken all they can get they will discard you as they see fit. If you are not willing to accept this then perhaps you need to re-evaluate your perception of relationships in general, and what being in a relationship truly means to you. |
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